JOM! fill up the empty space

Salam a’alaik…

Sahabat2, sisters, brothers…

It is 3.30 am right now. I’m writing this entry not because I don’t want to do my English HL assignments or finish up my exercise 2 Math HL. [sorry farah] I had tried… but it simply going nowhere. Where did I go wrong? Never mind. Enough talking about IB. enough talking about me.

During the JPAM camp, overall it wasn’t a memory that I’m going to keep it crystal clear at the back of my mind. It was just simply not right. Because the Islamic values and practices were isolated except for the prayers and DOAs by the pak imam. For further info about the reality of the camp, please read jannah’s blog entitled ‘saya ALLERGIC camp itu’.

It is not I’m trying to against the IB requirement or not appreciating the teachers’ efforts of organizing this camp for us. The camp ought to be great and P E R G H!! But for me, the camp was simply devastating especially the IMAN. If truth is to be told, I think I rather die than going to the camp again. [wow! Seriously?] . Not die literally. Nevertheless, I’m thankful and grateful to Allah the Lord Almighty, for placing me in the circle of people that still insist of protecting and preserving their iman, insya-Allah. Thanks for keep on reminding me sisters. They help me a lot I tell ya. If He didn’t send them to me, to keep on reminding me about ad-Deen, the genuine way of life… I might not be here to write this entry.

While waiting for one of the activity to start, a sahabat told me something that actually filled up the empty space in my heart since the first time I stepped into the camp site. Even it is just a sentence with 4 words, [i think it is 4] but means a lot to me. Especially at that time.

“ijlis binaa, nukmin saah”

Lets sit together and beriman even for a second.

No matter where we are, what are we doing… there is always time for us to R E M I N D ourselves about iman and islam. The greatest and supreme N I K M A T of all. talking about sahabat2 rasulullah always make me alive. [huh~~ metaphore, or hyperbolic much?] but that's the truth. before this, when the penceramah, ustaz or ustazh were talking about sirah, i was like.. 'ape la diorang cakap nie??'. because back there i KNOW islam, but i DON'T UNDERSTAND islam. performed solat hajat... tadarus... qiam... but actually what was i trying to acheive? i admit i did those for the sake of spm. yes. but now. i look them from different point of view. it is not about D U N I Y A. it is all about the H E R E A F T E R. if our goal is for the duniya, then we going to get the duniya... but if our goal is the akhirat, then He will grant us akhirat. [remember the first hadith of hadith arbai'in?... NIAT]

At night [still talking about that camp], there was this something called ‘culture performance’ where all of the 8 groups need to perform sketches. Again the ceremony was started with doa. But the content of the activity was?? Huh~~ I soo don’t know what to say. According to an ustaz, if an activity or a ceremony is just to have ‘fun’ and ‘enjoy’ and ‘LAGHA’… it is better not to start it with any doa. NONE!! NOT EVEN ONE! Why? Let us think for a while. Why are we praying for His blessing for the something that is fatal for our iman. IsN'T it contradicted?

At that night, what I can think of was... How if the roof suddenly collapsed? While all of us were laughing, forgetting the akhirat, sitting side by side, nothing else in our head but “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!”

subhanallah. What were we doing?!!! What we are going to answer when He ask us what were we doing when He sent us ‘the sign’ of His anger. Do we want to be one of the people who He said this sentences when we beg for mercy?

“He [Allah] will say: ‘Remain you in ignominy! And speak you not to Me!’ “

[23:108]

Well, do we?

• Now I realize what I have been missing by being apart from You.

ya allah, Engkau letakkanlah dunia ini di tanganku... bukan di hatiku.